How To Be A Gracious Amateur

In a couple of weeks, a group of women are joining me for Close the Confidence Gap in Asheville. Confidence is front and center for me.

What images and ideas arise when you think, “confidence?”

Both arms raised in triumph?
A well-dressed business person?
A start-up entrepreneur who nails his pitch?


What is Confidence To You?

For me, confidence is fluid. I wish it wasn’t. I’d prefer to develop it and be done. But it ebbs and flows like a tide. Sometimes, I’m good to go! I accept that “I can really do this” challenge and ride the current of belief in unlimited possibilities!  Other times – I retreat, recoil and withdraw. Lately, I sprung a major confidence leak. Maybe you know that feeling, too?

It doesn’t make sense. We’ve all done amazing things. I know you have. I’ve seen the work you do. So if you look at the proof of our capabilities, a part of you is perplexed. “I did all that and I’m still feeling this?”

All of us tangle with self doubt and uncertainty.
So here is what I’m doing. Maybe it will work for you, too.

Ask  yourself: 

1. “What is true for me right now?” 

Answer: I have a lack of confidence, a sense of self doubt, fear and a sprinkle of hopelessness too.

Asking this question offers me full permission to state what is absolutely true for me. No hiding. No excuses. Just the facts!

2. “Where do I normally find my power?”

Answer: when I move and challenge my body, when I’m learning alongside others and when I’m accountable to “show up!”

Asking this question directs me to what I already know – the wisdom I’ve gathered all these years. The question reminds me – “Hey, you know what you need to do.”

3. “What is something I can do that leads me to my power and also steps me outside my comfort zone?”

Answer: I signed up for a Tae Kwon Do Class. Not something I ever thought I would ever do. This is a whole new adventure and right now, it’s an uncomfortable one.

This question always leads to action and helps you take it!

Calming Your Ego

I was talking with a woman recently. She turned to me and stated: “This year, I’ve made a commitment to be a gracious amateur.” I appreciate her humility and intention to step into the unknown.

Gravitating toward something you don’t know or don’t do well is not in our ego’s DNA. We prefer to excel, we like to feel like a well-oiled machine. We enjoy saying with pride, “I got this.”

But to truly acquire confidence, we’ve got to step a little into the unknown, a little into the “this feels awkward,” and a little into a process – that if you stay long enough – the ebb and flow of confidence will ride up on your personal beach front property and allow you to raise your arms in triumph.


If you are ready to step into a little, “this feels awkward and discovering your confidence” – Join me for Close the Confidence Gap starting on Tuesday, Oct. 10. Click Here for full information and registration.