Are You a Slider or a Diver?

There’s plentiful advice on the internet for those seeking to be a better listener? In all that advice, one key quality is given less attention: Curiosity. Before we get to listening, let’s take an inventory. Are you a slider or a diver?

Here’s what you do when you “slide.”
You ask a friend or colleague “how was your weekend?” Something they say hits a recall bell in your brain – and a voice in your head says, “ME TOO!”

Next, you slide the conversation away from your friend back to you. “That happen to me. Let me tell you more…I went on vacation too, let me tell you more…We saw a good movie too, let me tell you more.” Essentially, you just turned the conversation back to you and aborted the opportunity to be inquisitive, curious and a good listener.

Here’s what you do when you “dive.”
Let’s go back to that weekend question you asked your friend or colleague: how was your weekend? Once they respond, take the deeper dive and be inquisitive. Drill down with a question like: “how was it getting away for the weekend or what did you do while you were there?”

TALK TIP: Decide to Dive

Be deliberate in your upcoming conversations by deciding ahead of time to dive.

  • Slow down
  • Ask a friend or colleague a question
  • Listen

From what they share:

  • Ask another question.
  • Try to avoid YES or NO questions like: did you enjoy it?”

I’m wired for the deep dive because how people think, what they perceive and how they process their world fascinates me. I learn. My world view expands. And, the person right in front of me feels seen and heard